Conflict Resolution Therapy
DEBBIE CHERRY, LMFT
20 + YEARS COUNSELING COUPLES
Become better partners.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR BUSY COUPLES

Stop Fighting & Feel Close Again.

You are stuck in negative loops, arguing about the same things over and over. Nothing ever really gets resolved.

Couples conflict resolution therapy will give you the TOOLS to respond productively instead of reacting impulsively during emotional times.

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Conflict Is A Natural Part Of Intimate Relationships.
Learn how to make it productive.

DISCUSS RELATIONSHIP THERAPY DETAILS...

DEBBIE CHERRY

RESOLVE RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT WITH A COUPLES EXPERT

No One Wins A Fight In A Healthy Relationship.

Our intense NEED for a secure connection is deeply rooted in our early dependency on caregivers for survival. Start resolving couple conflict with simple tools to co-regulate when primal defenses are triggered.

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DEBBIE
CHERRY, LMFT

COUPLES CONFLICT RESOLUTION & MARRIAGE THERAPIST

You know that talking harshly to each other leads to more distance, but it just keeps happening. You trigger each other’s triggers.

The goal of couples conflict resolution is NOT about what your partner can do better. Resolving conflict is about how you can become a better partner.

Learn how to stop fighting with your partner with actionable steps. If you’re sick of going from 0-60 during difficult conversations, then get expert guidance to stop the damaging patterns & restore your connection.

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Happily Married
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Years of experience
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Successful Couples
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Resolve relationship conflict...

We had fallen into the never- ending cycle of trying to fight our way out of every conversation. Now, we have shed all the old baggage and can be vulnerable now to own our part.

– MARRIED ENTREPRENEURS IN CALIFORNIA
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THERAPY FOR CONSTANT FIGHTING IN RELATIONSHIPS

Resolve Recurring Arguments.

Happy couples argue just as much as unhappy ones. Successful couples learn how to stay connected, no matter how triggered they get.

Schedule a time to connect for free and see how couples conflict resolution counseling can help you break out of negative cycles.

BOOK A CONSULT FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION THERAPY

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We’re a team around the house, have great conversations, more patience, empathy, and are just smiling more.

– MARRIED COUPLE WITH TWO TEENS

Resolve Relationship Conflict With Proven Couples Therapy Techniques.
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Heal Old Resentments.

RESOLVING COUPLE CONFLICT FOR GOOD.

Contempt is the #1 predictor of divorce. Holding on to negative feelings about your partner does not help constant arguing in a relationship. When we feel rejected, even minor misunderstandings spiral into hurtful exchanges.

Conflict resolution and repair requires partners to prioritize the emotional safety of the team over old defenses, no matter how triggered anyone gets.

Schedule a 15-minute call to see how couples conflict resolution therapy can help you stop having the same arguments stemming from things that happened years ago & move forward.

Conflict Resolution Therapy Methods

TAP THE METHOD TO LEARN ABOUT RESOLVING RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT PRODUCTIVELY

ATTACHMENT-BASED COUPLES THERAPY

Attachment-based couples therapy helps couples understand the reasons for the painful patterns, address attachment needs, and build a secure bond that lasts.

THE GOTTMAN METHOD

The Gottman Method is a research-based approach that helps partners improve communication, deepen emotional connection, and handle conflict with greater ease.

EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED THERAPY

EFT helps couples communicate effectively about the core of emotional disconnection, fostering a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and vulnerabilities for greater empathy.

NARRATIVE THERAPY FOR COUPLES

Narrative Therapy helps partners break free from cycles of blame or hopelessness by focusing on how couples talk about and interpret their relationship.

IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY

Imago Therapy helps couples uncover the root of their relationship challenges by exploring how past experiences shapes their connection today so they can become better partners.

Psychobiological Couples Therapy

Psychobiological Couples Therapy empowers couples to break free from cycles of blame or shame by implementing daily research-based habits that bring them closer.

“OUR DISAGREEMENTS NOW TAKE US 5 MINUTES VERSUS TWO HOURS!”

– NEWLYWEDS IN MIAMI, FL
CONSTANT ARGUING
Can Destroy
Your Relationships

You’re not able to resolve conflicts without feeling verbally attacked or disrespected. Learn how to stop the cycle of fighting in your relationship.

Reconnect with your partner.

BOOK A FREE 15-MIN CONSULT FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION THERAPY

BECOME BETTER PARTNERS

CREATE A SECURE COUPLEHOOD WITH CONFLICT RESOLUTION THERAPY

Married. Engaged. Dating. Committed. Straight. Bi. Gay. Neurodivergent. Polyamorous.
Improve your connection no matter what your relationship looks like.

COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

RESOLVE RESENTMENTS

“OUR DISAGREEMENTS NOW TAKE US 5 MINUTES VERSUS TWO HOURS!”

– NEWLYWEDS IN MIAMI, FL

Learn how to stop fighting with your partner...
(without years of therapy)

Secure Couplehood Resources

SIMPLE STRATEGIES TO FEEL SEEN, SAFE & SURE

DEBBIE CHERRY, LMFT

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GET SIMPLE STEPS TO COMMUNICATE BETTER FOR FREE

SIMPLE STEPS TO COMMUNICATE BETTER FOR FREE

Frequently Asked Questions

View All FAQs Here.

Getting Started with Conflict Resolution Therapy

Conflict resolution therapy is a type of relationship counseling that helps couples understand, navigate, and resolve disagreements in a healthier, more constructive way. It focuses on improving communication, reducing reactivity, and breaking out of unhelpful patterns so partners can feel heard, respected, and more connected.

Couples therapy helps partners learn how to express themselves clearly, listen with empathy, and break out of negative cycles. The focus is on building emotional safety, understanding each other’s needs, and creating new patterns of connection, especially if every conversation turns into an argument or silence.

Couples counseling is a safe space to break out of stuck patterns, communicate more effectively, and reconnect emotionally. Unlike traditional therapy that may dwell on past issues, my approach teaches communication skills and secure partner habits to turn conflict into connection. Whether you’re fighting often, feeling distant, or just want to grow together, relationship therapy gives you the tools to become better partners. You can see client success stories, reviews and results here.

If you’re feeling stuck in the same arguments, drifting apart, or craving better communication, relationship therapy can be a powerful investment. It’s ideal for busy couples who want efficient, research-backed strategies they can apply right away.

You don’t have to be in crisis to benefit. Many couples use therapy to reconnect, improve emotional safety, and become better teammates. Couples’ success stories, reviews and results can be found here.

Some common signs include:

  • Frequent or escalating arguments
  • Avoiding conversations to “keep the peace”
  • Feeling misunderstood or not listened to
  • Resentment that never gets resolved
  • Stonewalling, criticism, or defensiveness

If disagreements leave you feeling more distant instead of closer, therapy can help. Book a free consultation to discuss your options.

A primary cause of conflict in relationships is often poor communication.

This can manifest as:

  • Misunderstandings: Misinterpreting each other’s intentions or words.
  • Unexpressed Emotions: Failing to articulate needs and feelings, which can lead to resentment.
  • Differences in Values: Conflicts arising from divergent beliefs, expectations, or lifestyles.
  • Unresolved Past Issues: Lingering grievances from past conflicts that continue to influence current interactions.

Improving communication skills can often mitigate these issues and reduce conflict. See more about effective couples communication here.

Couples therapy exercises are simple, practical tools to help you connect, communicate better, and shift old patterns. Some help you practice active listening, like summarizing what your partner said before responding. Others focus on emotional connection, like daily activities to better understand each other’s needs, or frameworks to build new habits that will bring you closer.

There are many practical exercises that couples can incorporate into their routine. Effective conflict resolution techniques include:

  • Active Listening: Each partner takes turns speaking while the other listens without interrupting, then paraphrases what they heard.
  • Mirroring: Reflecting back your partner’s feelings and thoughts can confirm understanding.
  • Role Reversal: Temporarily switching roles to see the situation from the other’s perspective.
  • “I” Statements: Framing concerns from your own perspective (e.g., “I feel hurt when…”) instead of blaming.
  • Taking Time-Outs: Pausing discussions to prevent escalation when emotions run high.

These exercises are customized based on what you’re working on, so you’re not just talking about problems – you’re building new habits that actually create change between sessions. Grab the Communication Toolkit for couples to get started with some activities to do with your partner right away.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples typically unfolds in three stages:

  • De-escalation: Partners identify and understand the negative interaction cycles that contribute to distress. This stage focuses on recognizing patterns and emotional triggers.
  • Restructuring Interactions: Couples work to express underlying emotions and needs more clearly, while learning new ways to interact. The aim is to foster secure emotional bonds and reduce defensive responses.
  • Consolidation: New patterns and ways of communicating are reinforced. Couples consolidate their progress by integrating these positive changes into everyday interactions, ensuring lasting shifts in their relationship.

Stonewalling occurs when one partner withdraws from a conversation or refuses to engage during a conflict. This behavior often manifests as silence, avoidance of eye contact, or disengagement, making it difficult for the other partner to resolve the issue.

Stonewalling is typically a defense mechanism used to prevent further emotional discomfort, but it can also lead to feelings of rejection and increased tension over time.
Stonewalling is a form of emotional withdrawal where one partner becomes unresponsive during conflicts. It may include:

Silent Treatment: Refusing to engage or communicate during discussions.

Emotional Shutdown: Withdrawing emotionally to avoid discomfort or confrontation.

Defensive Barrier: Preventing any further dialogue, which can lead to increased frustration and misunderstanding.

Stonewalling can hinder conflict resolution by preventing open dialogue and reinforcing negative patterns of interaction.

To get the most out of couples therapy, be honest and stay actively engaged both in and out of sessions. Set clear goals with your partner, reflect on progress, and show up ready to communicate openly about your feelings and experiences. Therapy is especially effective for challenges like communication breakdowns, conflict resolution, intimacy issues, parenting stress, and more. Follow through on any homework, check in with your therapist about what’s working, and celebrate small wins along the way. See what’s possible with couples therapy, and read about the couples’ success stories here.

You’ll learn how to:

  • Communicate without blame or shutdown
  • Stay calm and grounded during tough conversations
  • Understand each other’s emotions and unmet needs
  • Repair after an argument instead of letting things linger
  • Use proven tools to de-escalate conflict and reconnect

I specialize in communication breakdowns, emotional disconnection, parenting stress, high-conflict cycles, betrayal recovery, and navigating transitions like new parenthood or career changes. Common struggles include recurring arguments, feeling unseen or unsupported, parenting and career stress, or one person feeling like they’re carrying the emotional load alone. My approach helps couples stop repeating the same patterns and start creating real connection, so they can talk without fighting, listen without shutting down, and feel close again. If you would like to see some specific examples of how I help clients, grab the Connected Communication Toolkit here.

Effectiveness of Couples Counseling for Conflict Resolution

Couples therapy can be very effective when both partners are committed and actively engaged. Research indicates that therapy sessions, when led by a skilled therapist, can help improve communication, resolve conflicts, and deepen emotional connections. The effectiveness often depends on consistent participation, the use of evidence-based techniques, and the quality of the therapeutic relationship. Many couples say therapy was the turning point that helped them feel like a team again. See what’s possible with couples therapy, and read about the couples’ success stories here.

Yes, couples can overcome recurring conflict issues with commitment and the right strategies. Through mutual effort, learning active listening, and understanding each other’s emotional triggers, couples can break negative cycles. Techniques such as practicing empathy, clarifying misunderstandings, and setting aside regular time to discuss feelings can lead to meaningful improvements. Professional help, including couples therapy, often provides the structure and tools needed to facilitate this change. I can help guide an empowering process to evaluate your strengths and challenges as a couple and come up with the best plan of action to support your goals. You can book a quick consultation here, and take the 1st step toward a deeper understanding & an action plan.

Many couples start feeling more heard and hopeful after the very first session. Noticeable changes often happen within 3 to 5 sessions when both partners are engaged and practicing the tools between sessions.

Every couple is different, but many start to feel relief and make real progress within the first few sessions. I focus on practical tools you can apply right away so you don’t stay in therapy forever, just long enough to change your patterns for good. On average, couples attend therapy twice a month for 6 months, depending on how deep the patterns run and how consistently you’re able to practice the tools we cover. Some come in for a focused tune-up, while others choose to stay longer for ongoing support as they grow. My approach is designed to be efficient and actionable. You’ll leave every session with real insights and tools you can apply immediately. You can see client success stories, reviews and results here.

Yes, conflict resolution therapy is especially effective for couples who argue about the same issues repeatedly. A skilled therapist can help you identify underlying needs, emotional triggers, and communication breakdowns that keep you stuck—and teach tools to move from conflict to collaboration.

Many individuals experience communication struggles because of underlying factors such as past emotional experiences, unlearned communication skills, or fear of vulnerability. Personal habits, like assuming your partner understands your unspoken feelings, can also contribute. Often, stress, anxiety, or unresolved personal issues lead to miscommunication or avoidance, making it hard to express needs clearly. Working on self-awareness and engaging in guided exercises can help uncover these patterns and pave the way for healthier interactions.

Rebuilding a relationship after conflict is a process of healing and growth:

  1. Acknowledge the Hurt: Both partners should openly acknowledge the pain caused by the conflict.
  2. Sincere Apologies and Forgiveness: Apologize for personal contributions to the conflict and work towards forgiving each other.
  3. Reestablish Communication: Develop new, healthier communication strategies that emphasize empathy and understanding.
  4. Set New Boundaries: Agree on boundaries that protect both partners and prevent future escalations.
  5. Seek Professional Guidance: Consider engaging in couples therapy to facilitate deeper healing and to develop lasting, constructive interaction patterns.

You’ll learn how to understand and adapt to each other’s needs, whether one of you shuts down and the other escalates, or one values logic while the other leads with emotion. Relationship therapy creates change by increasing awareness, offering new experiences, and providing practical tools.

First, it shines a light on unconscious patterns and default reactions that keep you stuck. Once you’re aware of these patterns, you can start making more intentional choices instead of repeating old habits. Second, therapy offers new emotional experiences. For example, if you’re used to feeling misunderstood in hard conversations, practicing reflective listening with your partner in session can shift that dynamic and help you feel truly heard.

Finally, therapy equips you with actionable tools to handle real-life challenges. Whether it’s managing conflict, deepening emotional intimacy, or communicating needs more clearly, you’ll leave each session with something you can try right away. Over time, these small shifts add up to lasting change. To see what’s possible with couples therapy, check out the couples’ success stories here.

Rebuilding trust is a gradual process that involves consistency and transparency:

  • Consistency in Actions:
    Demonstrate reliability by following through on commitments.
  • Open Communication:
    Share feelings, concerns, and updates regularly to prevent misunderstandings.
  • Accountability:
    Take responsibility for mistakes and make amends where necessary.
  • Patience and Time:
    Understand that rebuilding trust takes time and requires ongoing effort from both partners.
  • Professional Support:
    A therapist can provide structured guidance and tools to help navigate the trust-rebuilding process.

While constant arguing can significantly strain a relationship, survival is possible if both partners are committed to change. Key factors include:

  • Willingness to Change: Both partners must be open to addressing and modifying destructive patterns.
  • Improved Communication: Learning and applying effective communication techniques to move from conflict to resolution.
  • Therapeutic Intervention: Engaging with a professional therapist can help guide the couple through transforming their conflict into opportunities for growth.
  • Emotional Resilience: Building a foundation of empathy and understanding to weather periods of frequent conflict.

Some common signs that you may need help with conflict include feeling misunderstood, repeating the same arguments, avoiding important conversations, or feeling like you’re not being heard or respected. If one or both of you shuts down during conflict, gets defensive, or feels emotionally disconnected after trying to talk things through, these are clear signals that your communication patterns may be working against you. You don’t have to wait for a major blow-up. Iif everyday conversations feel tense, confusing, or unproductive, couples communication therapy can help you build new skills, create emotional safety, and actually enjoy talking again.

Partner Dynamics and Conflict Resolution Therapy Fit

Yes. Therapy can absolutely help if you’re constantly fighting or avoiding each other. In fact, that’s one of the most common reasons couples seek support. Whether it feels like every conversation turns into an argument or you’re walking on eggshells to keep the peace, communication therapy helps you understand the deeper patterns driving those reactions. You’ll learn how to de-escalate tension, express your needs clearly, and rebuild emotional safety so you can talk without shutting down or blowing up. Even couples who’ve felt stuck for years often begin to feel more connected and understood within just a few sessions.

Couples quickly start noticing signs like fewer blowups, more productive conversations, feeling more like a team, or simply understanding each other’s needs more clearly. You may still have challenges, but they won’t escalate as quickly, or linger as long. As your therapist, I’ll help track those shifts with you, celebrate wins, and adapt the approach as needed to keep the momentum going.

It’s incredibly common for one partner to feel ready before the other, especially if they feel shamed, have significant trauma or have previously had a negative experience in therapy. While couples therapy works best when both people are involved, change can still begin with just one of you. If you start learning how to communicate more clearly, respond instead of react, and break old patterns, your partner will likely start responding differently too.

You’re welcome to start with a free 15-minute consultation, and I’ll help you figure out a path forward that feels supportive and doable for both of you.

Absolutely. My practice affirms all sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures. I create a safe, respectful space where LGBTQ+ couples can explore challenges without fear of judgment. Therapy is tailored to support your unique dynamic and the strengths you already bring. Whether you’re navigating big life transitions or simply want to strengthen your bond, therapy offers practical tools to improve communication, deepen connection, and shift unhelpful patterns quickly. Many couples just try one session and take it from there. You might be surprised how much clarity and hope you can gain right away.

You can see more about my background and approach here.

Many of the couples I work with are not in crisis. They are proactive, high-achieving, and just feeling disconnected, stuck in the same arguments, or wanting to grow together more intentionally. Couples therapy isn’t only about fixing what’s broken; it’s also about leveraging your strengths and building habits that help you stay close, even during stressful times. Think of it as relationship coaching for your emotional bond. The earlier you start, the easier it is to shift patterns and create real connection.

Book a free 15-minute consultation to get clarity and support tailored to your relationship goals.

Unhealthy conflict is characterized by:

  • Persistent Negative Patterns: Recurring arguments that don’t lead to resolution.
  • Emotional or Verbal Abuse: Criticism, contempt, or insults that undermine self-esteem.
  • Avoidance of Resolution: Failing to address underlying issues, which can lead to resentment.
  • Lack of Constructive Communication: Interactions that become more about winning an argument rather than understanding each other’s needs.

Such conflict can erode trust and emotional intimacy, making it difficult for the relationship to thrive. Even couples who consider their relationship healthy can benefit from therapy. Proactive sessions can help maintain effective communication, prevent minor issues from escalating, and enhance understanding.

It’s a good idea to schedule consultations with potential therapists to determine compatibility, ensuring the platform and therapy style you choose aligns well with your relationship goals.

Couples therapy may not be suitable for couples experiencing acute mental health emergencies, or domestic violence, where immediate and intensive in-person intervention is needed. Assess your situation carefully with a professional’s guidance before choosing the best support for your relationship. If you’re unsure, I’m happy to help you figure out the best next step in a consultation.

While both approaches aim to resolve conflict, they differ in focus and methodology:

Mediation: In mediation, a neutral third party facilitates communication between partners to help them reach mutually acceptable agreements on specific issues. The mediator’s role is to guide discussion and negotiation without delving deeply into underlying emotional issues.

Couples Therapy: Couples therapy, conducted by a licensed therapist, focuses on addressing deeper emotional and relational dynamics. It explores root causes of conflict, helps rebuild trust, and develops long-term strategies for healthier communication and connection.

Not sure which one is right for you? Start with a free 15-minute consultation to get clarity and support tailored to your relationship goals.